How to tell your best friend that you love them
The internet is filled with dating advice for after divorce, your first date, and even long distance. Great advice abounds for these easy and familiar topics, but what about if you've fallen in love with your best friend?
We spend hours with our besties, and confide many of our secrets in them. It's not really hard for the line to be blurred between friendship and romance. Unfortunately, if things go sour you may find yourself not only out of a relationship, but out of a person to talk about it with too.
If you're thinking about telling your best friend you love them, here are a couple of things to keep in mind.
Think about what's at stake
This is one case where you really don't want to have regrets. If you're at all confused about your feelings, trying to rebound from a previous relationship, or just aren't sure what you feel---don't tell them. Even if your friendship does survive after telling them, it probably will never be the same again.
That being said, you know your friend best. Do you think you'll be able to maintain your friendship after a relationship? Are you okay with going your separate ways if things don't work out?
Try Hints First
Most relationship advice warns against hinting. Men don't really want to have to guess at your feelings, and a straight up conversation about feelings can help avoid a lot of pain and heartbreak later. In the case of telling your bestie how you feel, if he's not interested, him noticing your hints and suddenly bringing up a girlfriend you didn't know about or confessing a secret crush that's not you.
Pay attention to the signs
Often the best indication of whether your best friend is or is not interested were there all along. After being let down, no matter how gently, you can often see clearly the signs he wasn't interested. No hints of romance, no talk about your future together, and your friends telling you it wouldn't work out.
On the other hand, if your friends are urging you to get together, or you notice a lot of hinting of his own, it could be that he's trying to see if you're interested.
If you're not sure, talking it over with a third party that knows the both of you (and will keep it to his or herself) might be a good way to figure things out.
In the end, it's your choice whether or not you talk to your friend about it. Your friendship is something you should treasure and take care of, and throwing it away on a whim isn't wise. If you do decide to tell your friend that you love him, make sure you are serious, and that you know you'll either be able to power through a rejection or deal with the end of the friendship. Ultimately, only you can decide whether to tell him or not, and whether you think that will be best for your current relationship.