Dealing With an Inconsistent Partner

Dating and relationships come with their own set of obstacles to overcome. Before settling into a healthy mutual connection with someone, you want to weed out the undesirables. One of the biggest red flags in romantic relationships is breadcrumbing. This new term describes a person leading you on with no intention of following through. They keep you coming back by dropping incremental doses of affection in your direction.

Their affection, however, is usually just a method for them to keep you hanging around while they pose no real commitment. While choosing not to commit to a relationship or a person is perfectly fine, breadcrumbing is not. It encompasses a tactic where a person knows they don’t want to commit but will still act and speak at times as if they do. It is misleading and manipulative at best.

How Can You Tell if it’s Breadcrumbing?

One of the biggest signs that someone is breadcrumbing you is that their actions rarely match their words. They might often flake on your plans last minute or say you will talk later and never pick up the phone or answer your messages. This is a sign of inconsistency. It says they do not value you the same way you might value them.

Another form of inconsistency you may notice is their hobbies or experiences. They will often try to establish a connection by mentioning shared interests. Later you might find they don’t enjoy these things much, or at least not with you. They are often more prone to generic conversations with you than deep, intimate discussions. This is their refusal of emotional intimacy, which is required for healthy, lasting relationships.

You Deserve Better

Often, it’s hard to decipher how someone else is feeling in these situations. Getting to know someone and learning to build a healthy connection is always difficult. Looking for some of the red flags can help. It’s safe to note if you do not feel like they are meeting you halfway in communication and connection, it’s not the relationship for you.

You deserve a healthy and engaging person who wants to spend time with you more than just physically. They should enjoy regular activities with you and building emotional intimacy that can uphold a long-term committed relationship.