What kids learn when you criticize your own body

It's no secret that children look to their parents as a model for how they should act. We've often seen our kids emulating us with dolls and toys, or memorizing a swear word we accidentally said in front of them in just one incident.

How they think and feel about their bodies is also influenced by parents, especially before the media and their peers take over some of that influene in later years. 

Focus on character

The big trap with self criticism is that we think its benign because we are only hurting ourselves. With kids around, that's not true. They listen to you complaining about how you're too fat, you need to go on a diet, or you hate how you look and learn that how your body looks is more important than anything else.

Instead, avoid talking about your body at all, and focus instead on character traits. Make it clear that what matters most to you is that you are there for your friends, that you care about your family, and that you enjoy life are all more important than how you feel about your body.

Model what a body is truly good for

Your body is there so you can get around and do things with it. Celebrate what you can do with your body, such as going for hike or playing games with the kids, and make a point of drawing attention to the fact that these things don't require beauty to happen.

Work on your own biases

Chances are there is probably something about your body you'd like to change. Even if you don't, you may notice things about other people's bodies you think they could improve on. If you comment on these things in front of your children, you teach them that it's okay to view others through the same lens.

Instead, know that you have these biases, and work instead on talking about character or other traits that are more important. If possible, look for the positive, and draw attention to when people on television or in person are displaying good behaviors.

Watch for signs your child needs a therapist

Negative body image issues can be incredibly damaging to your child. In extreme cases it can lead to eating disorders, and other mental health problems such as depression. If you hear your child constantly bringing up their body in negative ways, complaining they are too fat or hating their body in other ways, consider having them see a qualified therapist.

Contrary to popular belief, feeling ashamed of your body does not lead to weight loss or being motivated to change how it looks. It often leads to the opposite. People who love their bodies and appreciate what it can do however, typically do have motivation to make those healthy changes.

Children are always listening, even when it seems like they are not. By changing how you talk about and view other people's bodies, you can go a long way to helping them develop their own views in a healthy manner.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-kids-hear-parent-criticize-body_l_5f36f2d4c5b69fa9e2fb7581