Should you adopt?

You've been struggling with infertility for years. As time rolls onward, you know the window of time you have to be comfortable raising a child to adulthood is closing, but there doesn't seem to be any chance you'll conceive. You want the experience of raising a family, but if biological children isn't a possibility for you—should you adopt?

This is a question that can only be answered by you and your spouse. Giving up on a bilogical child can be as painful as losing a living baby. Even if you get your baby on day one, you will miss out on experiences such as feeling the baby move inside you, and breast feeding. These are losses you should come to terms with before adopting.

Many adoption agencies do not let you continue to try for a biological child while going through the adoption process, which can be a bitter blow for those who are trying to keep their options open. If you still hold out hopes for a biological child, but want to adopt as well, you can seek out an agency that will work with you on that decision.

Some potential parents are concerned they won't be able to love an adopted child as much as they love a biological one, but this one at least is easily addressed. Pre-adoption counseling can help you sort out your feelings, but realistically—you love your spouse with all your heart and aren't related by blood, so chances are you'll be able to love your future son or daughter as well.

So how do you know if adoption is right for you? The answer is simple. If the love for a child outweighs the fear of the future, you're ready to adopt?

In the end, love is love. It knows no boundaries, and lack of blood ties certainly won't stop you for falling deeply, head over heels in love with a child. Your adopted child will love you every bit as much as they love a biological parent, and you will love them just as much as a biological kid. It's that simple.

If you want an idea of what to expect, reading memoirs of parents who have adopted children are a great way to get a sneak preview. You can see the ups and downs of other families, and get an idea of what to expect before you bring a little one home.

This is also something you should talk over with your partner thoroughly before plunging into. If your partner isn't 100% on board, it can cause friction that may make your dream family less picturesque. Counseling is once again a great option before going forward, as it gives you an opportunity to share all your reservations, and guide your thought process as you decide about adoption for yourself. 

Adoption is complicated, both in terms of paperwork and emotions. If you do decide to go forward, go forward in full confidence that you have made the right decision, and that the family member you have added will enrich your life.