Tips for blending your blended family
When you fall in love with another person and decide to get married, you and your special someone aren't always the only ones in the picture. Sometimes you and your new partner have kids from previous relationships, and bringing those households together can be rough. Even if there's only one child involved, building a good relationship with a step child takes work, just like any other relationship.If you want to blend a family together smoothly, here are a few tips to get you started.
Use routines
Joining a new family is full of unexpected events, and an unpredictable future is frightening to most children (and frankly adults too.) Creating routines that your children can expect and look forward to can be a big help in making the transition a smooth one. If they know they can come down the stairs to see you making pancakes every morning, or that you'll be there to help with homework every evening, they'll be able to relax knowing what the future will be like.It's also important to set rules and stick to them, for the same reason. Being able to predict how you'll act when you're angry is possibly more important than knowing what you do when you're happy or normal.
Focus on the individual
Is your new step child a football fan? Is he into Pokemon? Is she into sketching? Taking an interest in and remembering these things can go a long way to helping you bond. Even if you and your step child are polar opposites, spending some time learning their interests and taking part in them can help in a variety of ways.If your step child loves the great outdoors and you prefer sitting on the couch, going camping or on a hike with them tells them clearer than anything else you could do that you want to have a relationship with them.
Find activities to bring everyone together
A blended family is different. Each original family had their way of doing things, and when everyone is suddenly thrown together, those ways are going to cause friction. Bonding as a family may be difficult if everyone's idea of fun or tradition is different, so when trying to bond, it may be best to think about activities everyone will be able to get behind.This could be as simple as decorating stockings at Christmas, or going to the park, as long as it is something everyone is going to enjoy doing. Until your family is well established together, you may want to avoid activities that may start a conflict, such as an activity you know one child loves and the other hates.Blended families are more complicated than traditional families, but they can be just as full of love and friendship. If you allow it, you can learn a lot from the step children who have come into your life. Kids can enrich your life, and add to the beauty and diversity of your family. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/step-parenting-blended-families.htm
