Why you need to put your phone down and say hello

A few years ago, I moved to Washington, DC.  On some sage advice from friends , I chose to leave my car at home.  Being without a car was a strange situation for me as I am from Texas originally where you might need to pack a lunch just to get to the grocery store and back!. 

But, I like to embrace new experiences and opportunities, so into the great unknown I went, and I went carless.  I came to enjoy my new home and look forward to my daily eight block walk to and from work - even on the coldest winter day.  However, I quickly discovered something that I considered to be incredibly odd…no one spoke to me or even glanced in my direction.  Now, for the uninitiated, DC sidewalks are not especially wide and street parking is at a premium so you do come in close proximity with strangers.  

Yet, everyday human after human after human walked past me, beside me, behind me, in front of me, across the street from me -and not a one spoke, smiled her say hello, in fact, most didn’t even look at me let alone make eye contact.  

Many seemed startled when I spoke with a simple “good morning.”  Some of my fellow pedestrian commuters were younger than me and committed to whatever secrets of life were being conveyed through their ear buds or headphones.  It is no wonder that people call the millennial and Gen Z’ers the “loneliest generation!”  No, just because you put in ear buds and stare at the sidewalk, it doesn’t mean that you can pretend that you are the only human on the street.  

I walked along saying “good morning” and “how are ya” to all folks I passed.  Frequently this was ignored by large eyed and clearly startled people, however one group of folks never failed to respond and sometimes even spoke first.  Homeless folks on the street were typically ready with a response or friendly inquiry about my day.  It improves my mood to engage with the world around me, to realize I am part of a larger community, and to put my silly problems in perspective by offering some consideration for fellow humans.  

Turns out that I am not alone (pun intended) in this mood enhancing response.  Peer-reviewed data bears it out.  Check out this article and, for heaven’s sake, take out your earbuds, look up at your fellow humans, and politely acknowledge their presence on this Earth.  Who knows?  It might make you feel less lonely...

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550613502990