Tips for handling transgender dynamics in the workplace
When a coworker makes the very big step of transitioning from one gender to another, it can mean big changes for everyone they work with too. Coming out as the gender a person most closely identifies with takes guts, and a certain amount of faith that the people they work with most closely will be supportive.
Most people these days want to handle their transgender coworker with respect, and if that's the case for you, here's how to do it.
Use the right pronouns
Your coworker probably wants to be addressed as the gender they are transitioning to. If Alex is now Alexa, that means 'he' should now be addressed as 'she.' If you're not sure, it's okay to ask. Your coworker will most likely be glad to let you know what pronouns they would like, and can help you if you make a mistake.
Be understanding about the bathroom
One of the biggest transgender issues that cause strife in the workplace is which bathroom the transitioning coworker uses. The media has made a sensation out of offices that have required transgender people to use the bathroom for their biological gender—or the disabled bathroom, which is insulting in its own way.
Your transgender coworker isn't trying to get a peek, they're just trying to use the restroom. It doesn't need to be an office drama.
Don't assume
No matter how open your coworker is to talking about transitioning, don't assume it's okay to ask them about their medical condition. Asking if they've had surgery, hormones, or other augmentations is extremely rude, and may make them uncomfortable. While some transgender people may feel comfortable sharing this information, it should be entirely up to them.
Your coworker wouldn't ask you what you went to the gynecologist for, and asking about their surgeries or hormones is on the same level. Don't ask about anything medical unless it is personally brought up by your coworker.
Help others
Not everyone is going to feel comfortable welcoming a transgender person into the office. Some people feel that being transgender is unacceptable due to religious reasons or other differences. It's important to understand that personal values are not the same as office culture.
If other people try to talk about the transgender person behind their back, gently remind them of this fact. Even if you don't personally agree with being a transgender yourself, it's not your life to lead. Giving your transgender the respect they deserve as a human being is important, and that means not gossiping, belittling, or shaming another human being.
Transgendered people in the office is a relatively new phenomenon, but respecting others and treating them properly even when they're different from you is as old as time. If your coworker has taken the bold step of announcing that they are transitioning, helping them adjust to their new gender role in the office place is something they will appreciate, and so will the rest of your team too.