Letting go of perfection

What does it mean to be perfect? You probably have some idea of what your perfect self would be in your head. That woman who rises early, makes organic, home-cooked meals for the kids and herself before killing it at her job and coming home to clean and organize the whole house.

It's easy to conjure up an image of what your perfect self should be, but unfortunately, it's impossible to live up to that image. You guiltily drop a lunchable into your child's backpack and rush them out the door, saving the time you'd use to make those lunches to make sure his pants aren't on backwards. You get to work just barely on time only to find yourself faced with a deadline that forces you to drop quality in order to get quantity done, and come home so exhausted, you just pop in a frozen pizza and call it a day.

Perfectionism is what drives us to do better, but it also comes at a cost. Scientists have been studying perfectionism intensely since about 1991, and have discovered that while there are centainly benefits to perfectionism, the drawbacks may outweigh them.

 In a 2010 study, researchers looked at psychology professors who had high levels of perfectionism, and high levels of conscientiousness, but not perfectionism. They found that perfectionists not only produced fewer papers than other professors, their work also had less impact. Being a perfectionist actually made their work less perfect.

With these studies in mind, letting go of perfectionist tendencies seems like a great idea—but it isn't always easy. When you have an impossible ideal to pursue of yourself, how do you tame it down without giving up entirely?

Let “Good Enough” be your guide

You want the whole house clean? No need to bust out the Q-tips and intensive clean your keyboard. You can still wash the dishes, sweep the floors, wipe down the counters, and declutter surfaces. Do you need to get a project done for work? Start by making it functional, and then add details if you have time.

By aiming for “good enough” you can often get more done with more or less the same quality as you would have gotten if you'd spent hours obsessing over every detail.

Be aware of your behavior

Are you frantically cleaning the house because you want your mother-in-law to believe that you live in a home straight out of a catalog every day? Do you take work home because you want your boss to believe you can do it all?

 Living for how other people see you is not only disingenuous, it can cause you unneeded stress as you're struggling to hide the fact that you're not actually completely perfect.

It can take time to break habits, accept the fact that you're not perfect, and create a new and more realistic image for yourself. If you're not sure how to start, a good way to begin is to recognize the fact that you're generally a good person, and that you have the full range of human emotions and abilities. You may not be perfect, but you'd be surprised how much you can achieve with “Good enough.”